This towering eucalyptus was already old when I was in elementary school at Madison Meadows in Phoenix, and it was wide enough to block the path from home to away-from-home. The Big Tree’s leaves laced the sky; sun burnt bark peeled and fell away from its body; its roots gripped the ground where it had stood for a century. Back then, the tree gave shade and cover for fights that began in the schoolyard and smoldered until dismissal. We all understood what “Meet me at the Big Tree” meant: the words were a challenge, a waving red flag signaling a crowd of bike-straddling students to gather and witness and fan the flames.
Beneath the Big Tree, I saw boys—sometimes best friends—wrestle murderously in the dirt; there, I saw a girl lose her tube top slugging the boy who’d broken her heart; there, two chronic insomniacs—my best friend Laurie and I—met sometimes at midnight to roam our neighborhood, studying the skeletons of night-lit houses to see how other families lived. And there, two years ago, I met my father to strategize in secret, after my mother—confused and angry and terrified as her aging brain dissolved to lace—bruised his body and broke his thumb.
Certain artifacts from our pasts are discarded; others stay with us, charged with emotional power. The Big Tree often appears in my stories. I’ve imagined my teenage characters standing beneath its familiar umbrella, where the air tastes—in my memory—of coconut and citrus, sweat and cooling mud. Their hearts beat loudly from danger they’ve summoned, as they swagger and posture, daring a friend or protector or life itself to strike the first blow. But the stories we tell affect us, too; they become part of our personal mythology. When I met my father at the Big Tree—the site chosen unconsciously, unintentionally—I implored him to see what my brothers and I knew: caretaking was killing him, and he had to save himself.
That night I pocketed a large piece of the Big Tree’s bark—curved gracefully, like a hand at rest or half a prayer—and carried it home with me to Philadelphia. This tree bark now sits on my writing desk, while I sort through the sad story of my father’s rescue and my mother’s decline. Sometimes I stop and rest my hand on the wood and, in the mysterious way that memory frees and fails us, I’m a teenager again. I am returned like magic to some forgotten sense of safety, as I kneel beneath the Big Tree and touch its rough trunk, feel its gnarled roots beneath my sneakers.


September 26, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Nice
September 27, 2010 at 2:35 am
Does the bark still smell like Eucalyptus?
September 27, 2010 at 3:31 am
Strangely, it doesn’t smell like anything! But it’s a lovely shape, beautifully textured.
March 15, 2011 at 1:17 am
The LEAVES sure do smell like Eucalyptus.. By the way, I happen to have a similar, large, old Euc’ in my backyard, in Tempe…
September 27, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I’ve told many stories of The Big Tree during my lifetime! Seeing it pictured made my heart skip down Memory Lane…thanks, Libby! Beautifully-written.
September 27, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I’m glad the big tree is being memorialized. When you warned that your blog post was sad, i was afraid you were going to reveal that it had been turned into cordwood, having finally expired. Next time I’m up in Phoenix I should verify that it’s still there.
September 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Give it a hug from me! My picture was taken two years ago, but I’ve been back more recently, and the Big Tree still stands! xo
September 27, 2010 at 4:39 pm
That was beautiful Libby and really hits home for me right now. My mom is going through chemo and very fragile. My father has been an absolute mess with worry, which makes the situation unfortunately worse. I found comfort in this blog, where I know that I am not alone in dealing with aging parents and the upheaval of emotions that this passage of time creates. Thank you for sharing, I needed the support. Love, Moo
September 28, 2010 at 12:48 am
Beautiful, Libby.
September 29, 2010 at 10:58 pm
This is beautiful, Libby. Trees are so powerful—in life and on the page. You have a way of turning your life and the imagined lives of your characters into glimmer.
October 2, 2010 at 5:16 am
Beautiful Libby, I love the way you write!
October 2, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Libby, I loved your blog. I had a tree in England that my mother, aunts and uncles used to climb. The nails they’d hammered into it were 20 feet higher than the ones my cousins and i later hammered into it to climb the massive trunk. It’s as much a part of my childhood as my family. Its were we played, thought and broke a few bones
.
I will look for your tree the next time I am in the old neighborhood.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful blog.
October 2, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Thank you so much, Jane! And for your memory, another root in this unwinding tale. The Big Tree is on Third Avenue, near West Lawrence and Madison Meadows Middle School. xo
October 3, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Libby,
As you’ll see in my recent email, trees are much on my mind these days. Perhaps they are the most easily visible marker of a new climate, a new home, a new environment? Maybe one day you’ll take me to see the Big Tree.
Love – Tamzen
October 26, 2010 at 5:13 am
Wow, I’ve fought, kissed, drank, smoked, climbed and yes, left a part of me with this tree. I rode my bike past it about 4 months ago for the first time in a least 30 years. It still stands proud! Thanks goodness it keeps it’s tales to itself!
Nice memorial!
Matt
October 26, 2010 at 10:56 am
Thanks, Matt, for reminding me that people kissed at the Big Tree, too! Nice to hear from you!
July 25, 2011 at 11:46 pm
ooooh, I promised a kiss at The Big Tree once and “chickened out.” I’ll never forget that tree, a soothing and scary place at the same time!
October 26, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Libby,
I was just back in town for our 30th reunion and made a point of visiting the old neighborhood. The big tree was, of course, on the tour. The BT still looks good and strong. It appeared that the rest of the world was shrinking in around it.
Rush
October 26, 2010 at 6:17 pm
I’m sorry I missed Reunion, Rush! But I’m heartened to hear your report. So great to hear from you!
October 26, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Classic. Who would have thought the big tree would hold so many memories. It was the stop on the way when we were riding our bikes to school for sure!
October 26, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Thanks, Kirk! Judging from the responses I’m receiving from our Meadows classmates, the Big Tree was like an emotional checkpoint for all of us. It’s very moving to me to hear back from old friends.
October 27, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Sniff….sigh
Thanks for the fitting tribute to the Big Tree Libby. You are a great writer.
Best
Jack
October 27, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Thank you, Jack! I’m so happy about this virtual reunion! Thanks for reading my blog, and taking time to respond!
October 28, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Libby,
I loved your tribute to the Big Tree. I went to Rose Lane but I have so many of the same sort of memories about the old neighborhood your story brought a tear to my eye. I can relate with the part about your dad as I lost my dad 11 years ago to cancer. I love reading your works. I am sorry you missed your class reunion. My 30 year will be next Fall. I love returning to Phoenix in the summers and reliving my past and feeling youthful again. Thank you for sharing.
Tami
October 28, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Thanks, Tami! My “real” class is yours, too — I graduated from Central a year early. I’ll be at our reunion next fall. Looking forward to seeing you!
January 11, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Libby!
I’ve enjoyed reading your words here just now, and wanted to thank you for sharing.
David Entz
January 11, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Thank you for reading my blog, David! So nice to hear from you!
March 15, 2011 at 12:18 am
Went by a couple months ago, that is an awesome tree with a lot of memories. I passed it 1000 times going to the Mosiers. I watched Jimmy H and Matt M beat each other up underneath that Big Tree…….Great Memories! Mark Porter
March 15, 2011 at 12:46 am
Mark Porter! So nice to hear from you! I bet Jimmy and Matt have a slightly different view, eh?
March 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Jimmy was afraid to go home, so Mark brought him over and we actually took a steak out of the freezer, held it to his black and blue swollen eye and tried to reduce the swelling. It would be hard to say who got the worst of that battle! But, your tribute to the tree and the words about your Mom and Dad brought tears to my eyes. Your Mom was a dear friend, and I always think of her with some epic book in her hands, reading. Anyone who has ever been a caregiver will be especially touched by your meeting with your Dad. This is so beautifully written, and I’m glad Mark shared it with me.
March 15, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Thank you for your kind words, Lawrie! Your remembered picture of my mom matches mine, which is so heartening. And I’m tickled that Mark can now confess his Big Tree battles to you!
xoxo
July 25, 2011 at 10:57 am
Good stuff Libby! Can you imagine all the stories revolving around “the big tree”. They go way way back. This tree has always been a fixture of Meadiws life. My sister who is six years my senior has stories of meeting up at the big tree. By now there must be thousands of stories.
July 25, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Nicely done Libby – It’s incredible to think that the many branches of all our lives are rooted in similiar thoughts, places and experiences – the big tree being one of the most prominent. Whenever I am visiting, I walk from my parents home at 3rd ave and Gardenia to Meadows and back – as I did way back when. Wonderful stuff…..thanks for sharing -
Alec MIlstein